Anyone who’s caught Deepak Chopra on a chat show has heard the New Age rap, a stew of religious patter and scientific sounding buzzwords. Spoken with style, the showy incoherencies that are Chopra’s stock in trade can lead you to fun, profit, and 3-hour long pledge-time specials on PBS.

But, sometimes the demand for BS outstrips our capacity to supply, leading to the dreaded Guru’s Block. Thus I recommend the New Age Bullshit Generator. With a single click, the generator will treat you to a couple of hundred words of fresh, highfalutin mystical bull plop that’ll help you and your suppliants tap into the quantum resonance circuit that pulses with the pure joy of your sacred intention.

Here’s mine. It’s already part of my new book Tap the Power of Rhythmic Oscillations to Achieve Oneness and Awaken Your Most Colossal You, so if you copy it, I’ll tap into a power even more awesome than the spiritual quantum time-shift vibrating poltergeist: my lawyers.

Conscious living requires exploration.

We exist as pulses. The quantum cycle is radiating electromagnetic resonance.

Energy is the driver of beauty.

Dogma is the antithesis of freedom. The complexity of the present time seems to demand a flowering of our dreams if we are going to survive. You must take a stand against yearning.

You may be ruled by desire without realizing it. Do not let it eliminate the truth of your circuit. Without potential, one cannot vibrate. We can no longer afford to live with materialism.

Materialism is born in the gap where presence has been excluded. Yes, it is possible to destroy the things that can confront us, but not without empathy on our side. Only a prophet of the solar system may release this harmonizing of balance.

Through prayer, our hopes are baptized in divinity.
Reality has always been radiating entities whose souls are nurtured by science. Who are we? Where on the great circuit will we be guided? Humankind has nothing to lose.

We must learn how to lead transformative lives in the face of yearning. This story never ends. The paradigm shift of balance is now happening worldwide.