The Green Bay Packers.
The sleaze surrounding the Las Vegas Stadium is too much for me. If the Raiders are in it, I’m out. I’ll always be a fan of the Oakland/LA Raiders. I’ll hold them dear in my heart. But moving to Vegas means a vampire sired them and a demon has taken over their body. Adelson somehow, and I’m sure the exact means contained in “somehow” will keep investigative reporters busy long after Adelson becomes a floating head in a jar, got the Nevada State Legislature to ignore the question that Nevadans (the people they supposedly represent) have been asking since jump: why should a guy worth $28 billion, who can buy Las Vegas’s newspaper just to stifle criticism and give himself an outlet for his press releases, get public money for his building?
The Packers are an old and venerable franchise. The city of Green Bay owns them, so there’ll never be any hostage-taking for stadium funds. They’re fun to watch, and Vince Lombardi has a progressive history every bit as impressive as Al Davis’s.
I’ve written about conspiracy theories on this site before, mainly with a view toward sussing out the difference between genuine conspiracy and fantastical nonsense (Climate change denial, Kurt Cobain was murdered, chemtrails). Well, we have to come back to this thanks to Donald Trump, who believes (or claims, anyway) that the recent spate of sexual assault allegations against him is the result of a massive plot against him by Hillary Clinton, a Mexican cable billionaire, the New York Times, the Washington Post, Newsweek, The Democratic Party, the Republican Establishment, and the Green Bay Packers. (I threw in that last one, though Trump may have expanded the conspiracy to them because Aaron Rodgers is dating Olivia Munn, who was on The Daily Show, which is owned by…you get the idea.)
But okay, suppose you believe that such a wide ranging conspiracy is plausible. It’s likely I can’t help you, but I will point out that there are other things you’d have to believe.
- That this conspiracy, large and powerful though it is, is remarkably slow acting. Miss Washington 2013’s allegations against Trump were first aired on Facebook in June of this year. Jill Harth’s allegations against Trump were first made in 1997. And Ivanka Trump accused her ex-husband of marital rape during their divorce in the early 1990s (this first came out in a book released in 1993). Nobody waited until the last minute to release them. Stories of Donald Trump’s assaults on women have been out there for decades, some of them since before Hillary Clinton was first lady and the idea of her as the first woman president wasn’t even a gleam in her eye. So your conspirator’s plan was clearly multi-generational in nature.
- That Donald Trump isn’t in on the conspiracy, but nevertheless cooperates with it by doing things that make him look guilty as hell. Unless Hillary Clinton’s friends in the CIA keep shooting exotic drugs into Trump to make him do her will, nobody forced Trump to say on Howard Stern that it was all right to call his daughter “a piece of ass” or, in a separate incident on The View, that if Ivanka weren’t his daughter he’d be dating her. Nobody held a gun to Trump’s head to make him say to a ten-year-old girl that in ten years he’d be dating her. And Billy Bush didn’t hypnotize Trump into saying he couldn’t help kissing beautiful women and that he could get away with grabbing their pussies because he’s famous. (And, honestly, if Billy Bush could do that, wouldn’t he spill it to Cousin Jeb while his presidential campaign was still a going concern?) Remember, these allegations blew up not because they weren’t already out there (they were), it’s because Donald Trump bragged on a live mic that he did the things women have been accusing him of. But you probably think Trump was set up. Sure. And maybe Andrew Jarecki framed Robert Durst.
- That The New York Times and the The Washington Post, which spent oodles of time covering Hillary Clinton’s email peccadillos and fanned lots of silly speculation about her pneumonia bout and her campaign’s release of information concerning it, are somehow in Hillary Clinton’s thrall. Her relationship with the D.C. press is famously frosty, and has been for decades, but I’m sure you think that’s just cover for the fact that the newspapers are Renfield to her Dracula, and that when she gets together for drinks, it’s with the Cigarette Smoking Man. (That’s also why the Cubs are favorites for the World Series. They’re her favorite team. Major League Baseball’s in on it too.)
- That Rich+Mexican=Co-Conspirator.
The reality, and I know you Trump supporters have a tough time with reality, is that your candidate is a terrible human being who brought all of this on himself. He didn’t need a vast global conspiracy to bring him down. He just needed his ignorance, his ego, and his sense of entitlement. He’s incapable of admitting that to himself, let alone you, but the faster you realize it, the better off you’ll be.
Or you can stick with this conspiracy theory, in which case, what Drew Magary said.
It seems almost cosmically unfair.
The Raiders might, with a little luck, break the 8-8 barrier for the first time since they lost the Super Bowl in 2002, yet I feel hollow. Why?
Ah, Gemma Arrowsmith, you do silly people so well…
The President’s statement is worth watching in full, and he’s right. It speaks volumes that a major political party in the most powerful country on Earth isn’t willing to turn its back on Trump.
This was my Dad, seven decades ago:
He shattered his leg jumping out of a plane just like that one during the Second World War. He studied chemistry. He built rockets, and helped U.S. intelligence figure out how the Soviets were building theirs. He shepherded me to adulthood. He faced racism, both subtle and gross, his entire life. He lived just long enough to see, and to vote twice for, America’s first black president, and he’d have been thrilled to see Hillary accept tonight’s Democratic nomination.
Here’s what Trump said about my Dad and millions of other black men:
Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.
Laziness is a trait in blacks.
Don’t tell me he didn’t mean it. He did. Don’t tell me he’s taken it back. He hasn’t. My Dad never made a huge amount of money–working as a scientist is seldom a path to riches–but he was worth a million Trumps, and a harder worker than an infinite number of Trumps, yet Trump wouldn’t have let him balance his books or live in one of his apartments because of his skin color.
That’s why I feel a particular, personal loathing for Donald Trump. I want him to lose. I want him beaten so bad that bigots will be afraid of running for office for the next 200 years.