If My Daughter Wanted To Do These Jobs, I’d Prefer She Turn To Porn

Damon Linker, pundit, columnist for The Week, and minor league irritant, tries to critique what he sees as creeping moral libertinism by asking “What If Your Daughter Was a Porn Star?”

He assumes I’d be “appalled at the thought”.

Well…let’s think about it.

I don’t have any children, so I have no personal stake in the question. But if I did have an adult daughter and she came to me to let me know that she’d just performed in a porn film, I admit I would be disappointed. I’d obviously want her to aim higher, to choose a career with better long term prospects in an industry better known for treating its employees fairly. I know that there are some porn performers and sex workers who make it far in life–Nina Hartley, Sasha Grey, and Annie Sprinkle come to mind–but most have to plan for a post-porn life that can be difficult because of judgmental assholes who assume that anyone who sucks a dick (or gets a dick sucked) in a video can’t do anything else. I wouldn’t want my daughter to have to deal with that, so yes, I’d rather she pursue a different vocation.

That said, there are plenty of jobs a daughter of mine could take that would disappoint me more:

1. Republican politician.

2. PR flack for the tobacco, munitions, or petroleum industries.

3. Televangelist.

4. Professional psychic.

5. Bill collector.

6. Lawyer for the tobacco, munitions, bill collection, or petroleum industries.

7. Insurance salesperson.

8. Operator of a cut-rate elder care facility.

9. Italian media tycoon.

10. Cable TV pundit.

If a daughter of mine came to me and said, “Daddy, I’m going to be a pundit on Fox News”, I’d tear my clothes, wail, and scream at the sky, “Why couldn’t she be in porn? That’s at least a respectable living!”

What it all comes down to is that there are lots of legal but morally repugnant ways to turn a buck–ways that do a lot more harm to the world than putting on fuck-me heels and making exaggerated sex noises while some guy you don’t find remotely attractive pumps you on camera. That sounds (to me, anyway) like a miserable way to keep the rain off your head, but there are less wholesome trades one can ply.

P.S. Here’s Cracked debunking four myths about porn stars.

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