I’m still working on this. I currently give .02% of a shit, which means I’d have to carry 5,000 shits around with me in order to give one shit.
When I finally get to zero, I can put down that heavy, smelly bag–a bag which, paradoxically, will get heavier the less of a shit I give. As a rule, as one gives less of a shit, one becomes increasingly full of shit, until one reaches zero, at which point the shit ceases to exist in this universe. This is Einstein’s Special Theory of Giving A Shit.
Anyway, enough verbal frotting. Here’s George Carlin. There’s a whole three-hour interview that this is a part of. Check it out.